Phineas and Ferb Porn Story: Nighty Night Sis – Chapter 1

Phineas and Ferb:

Nighty Night, Sis

INT. MEDIA MANIA – DAY

Media Mania, an all purpose music/video store within the Googolplex mall, where PHINEAS and FERB are picking out movies, while their MOM supervises from afar, looking at products and talking to the SALESMAN. Multiple TV screens in the corners of the shop play the sounds of an action movie.

PHINEAS

What do ya think, Ferb? Classic horror, or outrageous comedy?

ISABELLA and the fireside girls troop are passing by,

ISABELLA

(dreamily)

Hey Phineas.

PHINEAS

Hey Isabella.

ISABELLA

Whatcha doin?

PHINEAS

Were finalising our choice of movie for the big slumber party tonight.

Phineas turns to see that a new movie has appeared in his hand, with Ferb standing next to it, the cover he reads out loud.

PHINEAS (CONT’D)

Gadget lovin, tech heavy spies? Great choice, Ferb. Well, that about wraps things up here.

ISABELLA

Wow, this partys gonna be great, so how many people are coming?

PHINEAS

10, including Candace, but were not sure if shes decided or not. But she can always change her mind.

ISABELLA

Hey, where is Candace?

PHINEAS

Well, we couldnt fit all of the food we got for tonight in the car, so we had to get her to carry some of it home with her. But we should get there just as she does, at this rate.

The camera switches to a sidewalk, where CANDACE is slowly inching along the ground, sweat dripping from her nose, her back bent under the weight of the bags that are around her arms, shoulders and back. After a snail passes her, she falls down.

CANDACE

Ouch.

Back at Media Mania, where Mom is paying for the movie.

MOM

Well then, wed better get going boys.

ISABELLA

O.k then, see ya later Phineas, bye Ferb.

PHINEAS

See ya there!

The two parties leave in opposite directions.

INT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – DUSK

Phineas is welcoming the guests through the door in his orange polka-dotted pajamas as they move to the living room, while Ferb, in purple pajamas, acts as a security gate with his arm, raising and lowering with each guest:

-BUFORD, in pajamas covered in a pattern of skulls and a pair of hands giving someone a wedgie.

PHINEAS

Evening, Buford, make yourself at home.

BUFORD

This is gonna be awesome!

-BALJEET, in plain, blue pajamas, carrying a knapsack

PHINEAS

And welcome aboard to you Baljeet.

BALJEET

Thank you, my friend. This will be incredible, and I have packed plenty of extra underpants.

-Isabella and her Fireside Girls troop, all in uniformed pajamas.

PHINEAS

Isabella and troop 46321, if youll just make your way into the living room, where Ferb has set up the party area.

ISABELLA

Right. Come on girls, lets make this party even better.

The troop blurs past Isabella as she walks into the living room, while Phineas checks his list of guests.

PHINEAS

And that just leaves

Candace, with a slightly bent back, walks into the doorway, moaning.

PHINEAS (CONT’D)

Candace, glad you could make it!

CANDACE

(wearily, but with a slight tone of annoyance)

Look Phineas, I didnt say I wanted to be in your party, plus now my back hurts and Im worn out, so I just want to get a good nights sleep, not put up with a bunch of little kids all night.

Candace picks Ferb up so she can get past, puts him down and leaves up the stairs, making tiny, painful noises with each step that pulls her up. Phineas closes the front door and proceeds to the living room, where Buford and Baljeet are setting up their sleeping bags, Ferb has made his way over to the snacks table, happily munching on them, Isabella is turning on the stereo and the rest of her troop are picking out a cd to listen to.

PHINEAS

Okay, thats everyone, so lets get this party star- hey, wheres Perry?

INT. PERRY’S HIDEOUT – SECONDS LATER

Up in Phineas room, Perry jumps up, puts on his hat and types a code into the computer keyboard, opening up a tunnel beneath his feet that leads him to his hideout, where MAJOR MONOGRAM awaits on the screen.

MONOGRAM

(concerned)

Great, youre here Agent P. this afternoon Doofenshmirtz purchased truckloads of various items. Coffee, knockout gas, caffeinated sodas and sleeping pills, plus various machine parts. We have no idea what he could be planning, and we were going to send Agent O

An owl wearing a secret agent hat flies onto Monograms shoulder.

MONOGRAM (Contd)

Tonight to check out his plans while he was sleeeping, but somehow, Doofenshmirtz is pulling an all nighter to finish it. We dont know how he can keep going without getting tired, so youll have to find out what hes up to and make him go to sleep.

(jokingly)

Ha-ha, did you hear that one, Karl? Go to sleep, like knocking him out, that ones going in the book.

(concerned again)

But seriously, get out there and stop him, Agent P.

(snickering)

Go to sleep. Priceless!

Perry salutes Monogram and stands at his hang-glider, where a hot blast of air from below shoots him up out of the chimney and up into the air. Perry glides off into the city. Camera switches back to the living room, where party/dance MUSIC is already playing loudly and everyone is dancing around, having a good time.

PHINEAS

This is gonna be the greatest night ever!

In Candaces room, Candace is pressing her pillow against her head, but the MUSIC still comes through.

CANDACE

This is gonna be the worst night ever.

INT. DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC. – NIGHT

DOOFENSHMIRTZ is inside, working on a machine, looking slightly tired. He then turns a dial and zaps himself with the machine, which instantly revitalises him.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Ah, Much better.

The doorbell rings, Doofenshmirtz opens it to see Perry, dressed as a pizza delivery guy, holding a pizza box.

DOOFENSMIRTZ

Ha! You are 5 minutes late, my pizza is free. So let me have it.

Perry uppercuts Doofenshmirtz, rips off his outfit and pulls his hat out from the pizza box.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Wha – Perry the Platypus?! Why not, I mean my schemes are completely unreasonable. And by completely unreasonable, I mean that my schemes are COMPLETELY REASONABLE!

Doofenshmirtz presses a button which causes a giant, half filled fish tank, that has various fish already in it, to drop on Perry, trapping him.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ (Contd)

Are you comfortable? By the way, that question isnt rhetorical this time, Im getting into the habit of making my nemesis comfortable until I choose to destroy him. The main benefit is that theyre too focused on how nice their prison is to stop me, its perfect. You see I read up on platypuses and I now know that you are semi-aquatic, therefore you will be most comfortable in there, but dont think of trying to escape, the glass is so thick you would need a laser to cut through it.

Perry gets a laser out from under his hat.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ (contd)

Oh, no you dont, Perry the Platypus!

Doofenshmirtz presses another button, which makes a robot arm grab the laser from Perry.

INT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT

The music has stopped and the lights are off, but now Gadget lovin, tech heavy spies is playing loudly on the TV, with everyone watching intently at the screen.

PHINEAS

(whispering)

Wow, this is great. Ferb, how many of these do you think we can pull off?

Ferb holds up a notepad, filled with various sketches, gadget names and ideas.

PHINEAS (contd)

Awesome!

Unbeknownst to them, Candace, with drooping eyes and her back still bent, is looking around through the doorway.

CANDACE

(to herself)

Well if I cant block the noise out, Ill shut it off!

Candace walks outside, around to the fuse box and shuts off the power for the house, walking back with a smirk on her face. In the house, the movie suddenly stops playing, the TV shuts off, the whole room is suddenly covered in darkness.

PHINEAS

What the – no one move for a second

The light comes back on, with Phineas at the switch.

PHINEAS (contd)

Thats better. Now as for the movie, I think the fuse box may have gotten tripped. I guess we were using to much power.

BUFORD

So you mean theres no more movie?! Well you better think of something real fast Dinnerbell, or Ill be very angry.

BALJEET

Excuse me, me and my underpants will be right back.

Baljeet rushes off.

ISABELLA

Thats okay, I brought my laptop just in case. We can watch the movie on it instead.

PHINEAS

Cool

Isabella gets her laptop out, while Phineas retrieves the dvd from the pop-open player. As they load the movie up and find where they last were, Baljeet comes back in, looking contempt.

INT. DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC. – PAST MIDNIGHT

Doofenshmirtz emerges from the machine he has been working on and goes over to Perry, who is looking for a way out, tapping the glass and looking at the fish.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Now, Perry the platypus, allow me to explain my plan in incredibly unnecessary detail. Since my old plan to mass produce myself so that I wouldnt have to wait in line didnt work, now I have a machine that will make sure that there is no line to wait in to begin with, it is The two-in-one-enator! As youve probably guessed, its actually two machines combined. The first is my Insomni-enator, which uses the essence of caffeine to keep whoever is hit by the beam awake for hours, with no chance of going to sleep, that is how I stayed up all night to finish it. The second, the one that will solve my waiting in line problem, is called the Catonic-enator, which harnesses the power of the knockout gas and sleeping pills to send whoever gets hit into an uncontrollably deep sleep. You see, I figured that the easiest point that I can take things from stores is when everyone is sleeping, but if I go at night, everything is closed. So, I force people to go to sleep once the stores are open and its like taking various items from sleeping, middle-aged people. But first, I will get rid of you!

Doofenshmirtz goes back to his machine, in the machines targeting reticule, it swings around to aim at the tank, finding itself aiming at a gaping hole in the glass, with a small amount of water leaking out.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

What the? But how?

Doofenshmirtz turns around to see Perry, holding a swordfish.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

A swordfish?! Oh, why did I even put any fish in there, platypuses, platypi, platypeople, whatever. They dont eat fish.

Doofenshmirtz starts swinging the machine around again, but Perry jumps on his head and tries to gain control over it, firing accidental shots all over the city. Quick visions of sleeping people instantly getting up out of bed, running around and being very loud play for a few seconds, before the dial is shown being switched by Perrys slipping foot back and forth from the Catonic-enator to the Insomni-enator. Through the city, a few of the woken people who are running amok are zapped again and within seconds, fall asleep, snoring. One citizen is shown driving his car everywhere, along the streets, the sidewalk, the park. When zapped, his head hits the steering wheel, blaring the horn out, however the car continues to drive, until it hits a fire hydrant. A shot from the Catonic-enator flies out of the city, followed by an Insomni-enator shot. Perry eventually gains control over the machine by knocking Doofenshmirtz away for a second, giving him the time to zap him to sleep.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

(quickly falling asleep)

Why, you… Curse you..Perry the…

Doofenshmirtz begins snoring, as Perry retrieves his laser and shoots the Two-in-one-enator, blowing it up, then jumps out of the window, flying back to the house.

INT. FLYNN FLETCHER HOUSE – SECONDS LATER

In the living room, everyone is having a very loud pillow fight, with Buford dominating the game, running around with a pillow held against his chest, charging people over. The stray shot is shown from the outside, hitting the house just before Perry drops through the chimney. Inside, everyones eyes start to droop.

PHINEAS

(yawning)

I think Im just, gonna, go…to…there you are, Per…

Phineas, followed by the rest of the kids, falls on his pillow and starts snoring. Outside, Candace is half asleep, half awake, with her bloodshot eyes half closed, her hands pressing her pillow against her ears. Upon hearing the snoring, Candace sits up straight.

CANDACE

(quiet, very tired)

Is it over? Can I finally get some sleep?

Candace closes her eyes, smiling as she finally starts to sleep. Seconds later the other stray shot from the Insomni-enator flies towards the house, hitting Candace, who is standing up within seconds. Candace runs around in circles rapidly before rushing into the house.

CANDACE

(loud and fast)

Hey guys, whats going on? Still watching the movie? Ooh, a pillow fight, Im game, lets go, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Candace keeps iterating the phrase, until a pillow is thrown at her face.

FERB

Would you please keep it down, we are trying to get some sleep!

Fadeout.

INT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – MORNING

Credits scene, as Candace is lying on the floor near the staircase, with her eyes wide open, but trying to close them as they snap back each time. Mom comes down, stretching as she gets to the bottom of the staircase, tripping over Candace.

MOM

Candace, why are you lying there?

CANDACE

(crazily)

How did you do it?! Well? How did you stay asleep all night while they were going completely crazy down here. HOW?!

Mom has a flashback to when she was looking at the products in the shop, but now we can hear the conversation between her and the salesman.

MOM

Sleeping pills? Why would you have these in a video shop, they cant be that loud can they?

SALESMAN

Oh yes they can, especially if theyre having a slumber party.

MOM

Alright, Ill take it.

Back to the present.

MOM

You get used to it.

Logos and fadeout. The End.