Phineas and Ferb Porno Story: Phineas and Ferb Unsafely Succulent Chapter 1

Phineas and Ferb:

Dangerously Delicious

INT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – EVENING

PHINEAS, FERB, DAD and Perry are at the dinner table, where CANDACE and MOM walk through from the kitchen, Mom holding a homemade pizza.

CANDACE

But it really did happen, they made a hot air balloon and gave rides to all of the kids in the neighborhood.

MOM

Yes, Candace, Im sure they did, then some magical force made it all disappear right before I got home, right?

CANDACE

Well, yeah, but-

MOM

Of course thats right, its always the case, now can we please drop it and have dinner? Okay, everyone, dig in. I made this today at my cooking class, my teacher said its the one thing Ive made so far that he could keep down and smile afterwards.

Everyone takes a piece, Phineas taking two and giving one to Perry. Everyone simultaneously takes a bite.

ALL

Wow.

CANDACE

Wow, Mom. Thats amazing.

DAD

Yes, its positively delicious.

PHINEAS

Yeah, it tastes kind of like, like-

FERB

Like a combination of traditional Italian ingredients with a modern day American preparation technique that results in an absolutely unique dining experience?

PHINEAS

I couldnt have said it better myself. What do you think Perry?

Perry eats his piece, then makes his platypus noise.

PHINEAS(CONTD)

I think he likes it too. Great job Mom. Is there any more?

MOM

Sorry kids, dear. Thats all, there was only enough for one piece each. Ill go get dessert.

DAD

Ill give you a hand with that, love.

As Mom and Dad walk out of the room, Candace begins following them.

CANDACE

But back to that hot air balloon thing.

PHINEAS

You know Ferb, if we made a super gigantic pizza, everyone in the neighborhood could have some, plus theyd be able to have more than one piece. If we only had the recipe.

Ferb holds up a list of ingredients.

PHINEAS(CONTD)

Thats right Ferb. I forgot that you can identify any meals ingredients after one bite. Well we cant really do anything now, so lets enjoy dessert and start tomorrow. Hey, wheres Perry?

INT. PERRY’S HIDEOUT – EVENING

Perry, holding a bowl of ice-cream, in the hideout, walks up the monitor, which shows MAJOR MONOGRAM waiting for him.

MONOGRAM

Sorry to bother you this late, I know its dessert time, but weve got a lead on Doofenshmirtz just too good to ignore. Hes just taken 10 of the most vicious police dogs straight from the police station. Obviously, he cant be up to any good. However, weve got him under tight surveillance and hes still got to sleep like the rest of us. So first thing, I want you to get out there and stop him. Wow, come to think of it, thats actually alright to ignore until morning, well you get the idea. Goodnight, Agent P.

Perry takes a tube leading upwards, that takes him back to the dining room, where he continues to eat his ice-cream.

EXT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – MORNING

Phineas and Ferb are already hard at work in the back yard, Ferb is organizing trucks filled with flour, cheese and other various pizza ingredients, while Phineas making some phone calls. As he hangs up, ISABELLA walks through the gate.

ISABELLA

Hey, Phineas.

PHINEAS

Hi Isabella. Were making a giant pizza for the whole neighborhood, want to help out?

ISABELLA

Sure, what can I do?

PHINEAS

Well, were going to need a lot of people to help us out soon, do you think you can round them up?

ISABELLA

No problem, Ill see ya back here in half an hour?

PHINEAS

Half an hour.

As Isabella runs off, we see Perry fly by in his hovercraft. Candace then walks up to Phineas.

CANDACE

Phineas, what do you think you are doing?

PHINEAS

Oh, hey Candace, were going to make a giant pizza just like the one Mom made last night.

CANDACE

Oh, Im gonna tell Mom and, wait, did you say just like the one from last night?

PHINEAS

Thats right.

CANDACE

Well, that was a good pizza, wait, no, Im gonna bust you for this, just you wait.

Candace begins to walk off, but comes back.

CANDACE(CONT’D)

And Im going to stay here until the pizza is finished so I have proof.

INT. DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC. – DAY

Inside the building, DOOFENSHMIRTZ has the dogs in cages, except for one, which he is attempting to tame.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Okay, just calm down and Ill give you the steak, calm down R-

The doorbell rings, right as Doofenshmirtz turns to the source of the noise, the dog jumps up and eats the steak in his hand, along with his hand.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

OW! Oh, if this isnt the dog trainer, Im going to feed him to the rest of you.

With the dog still chewing his hand, Doofenshmirtz answers the door. Opening the door, we see Perry, dressed as a dog trainer.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Oh, thank goodness, you have no idea how much i need your help right now, could you get this boy here off of my hand?

Perry begins petting the dog, at which point it lets go and cuddles up to him. Doofenshmirtz throws the steak out a window and begins talking to Perry with his back turned.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Thanks, you see, I need these dogs to obey me, so that they will do what I want when I zap them with this.

Doofenshmirtz pulls away a sheet that is covering up a fairly average to small sized ray gun.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ(CONTD)

The Hungrinator! See, I plan on making these dogs so hungry that they will go on a rampage across the tri-state area and eat everything in it, thereby forcing anyone who wants food to buy it from my Doofenshmirtz official fast food stands.

Doofenshmirtz pulls away another sheet, revealing a fast food cart, playing a jingle for Doofenshmirtz Evil Fast Food Chain.

EXT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – DAY

In the backyard, Isabella has gathered a large group of kids, who are standing on the roof, while Phineas and Ferb have somehow mixed the ingredients needed to make the dough.

PHINEAS

Okay, everyone, to help us knead the dough, youre all going to jump from the roof into the dough one after the other. Okay, group one, go!

A group of kids jump down, then slowly make their way out of the dough, followed by another group, then the final group.

PHINEAS

Okay, that should do it for the kneading, next up, the sauce, pour the sauce, Ferb!

Ferb, in one of the trucks, tips the contents of the truck, pizza sauce, onto the middle of the pizza base.

PHINEAS(CONTD)

Okay, everyone, to spread the sauce, were gonna pretend like were ice skating, so get out there and spread that sauce.

As the kids start skating through the sauce, spreading it as they go, Phineas, Ferb and Isabella get into three different trucks.

PHINEAS

Okay guys, 3, 2, 1, now!

The three of them empty trucks filled with cheese, meats and various types of vegetables onto the pizza, surprising the kids. Phineas then jumps into it and grabs some food and starts flinging it.

PHINEAS

FOOD FIGHT!

Isabella and Ferb jump in as well to join the fray, as Candace watches from the gate.

CANDACE

Ew, how is that supposed to be just like last nights one? Its gonna taste like every kid in the neighborhood by the time its done. At least when no one eats any Ill have proof.

INT. DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC. – DAY

Doofenshmirtz is showing all of the different foods to Perry, while Perry continues to pet the dog.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

So, basically its like any other fast food chain, but its going to be twice as expensive and the only option for those who want to eat, but the two best bits are, one, the dogs are so vicious that no one would be able to stop them from eating everything else, and two, that by the time that Perry the Platypus finds out it will be too late.

Perry stops petting the dog and sends it to attack Doofenshmirtz, who, after a few seconds of screaming and wrestling it, grabs a burger from the stand and throws it in the dogs cage, making it go after it.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

What was that for?!

Perry rips off his disguise and heads for the Hungrinator.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ(CONTD)

Perry the Platypus? Wow, you must have some great disguise closet, because I had no idea it was you, honestly your middle name should be inconspicuous. Well then, if youre going to be like that, then Ill just have to sick the dogs on you!

Doofenshmirtz presses a button, which opens all of the cages, however the dogs instead, go for Doofenshmirtz, who immediately hides behind the fast food stand and pushes it at the dogs, who cringe when they try the food. Doofenshmirtz then goes to get the Hungrinator back from Perry, which, after some wrestling over it, falls out of their hands and out of the window. Perry quickly grabs Doofenshmirtz and stuffs him into one of the cages, then whistles to the dogs, who then attempt to get at Doofenshmirtz through the bars.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

(whimpering)

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Perry then uses one of the jetpacks located near the windows to fly away.

EXT. FLYNN/FLETCHER HOUSE – DAY

Ferb has set up a giant magnifying glass, which is cooking the pizza. While Phineas watches, Candace comes over.

CANDACE

So Phineas, how long would this take to cook?

PHINEAS

It should only take another 3 minutes.

CANDACE

Great, and whered all the kids go?

PHINEAS

Oh, they went home to change, theyll be back before the pizza finishes.

CANDACE

Well, Ill just be over here.

Candace returns to the gate and calls Mom.

MOM

What is it, Candace?

CANDACE

Mom, how long until you get home?

MOM

I should be only 2 minutes, maybe less.

CANDACE

Thats perfect, thatll leave me 1 minute to bust them, see you soon, bye.

Candace hangs up and goes back to check that the pizza is still there, which it is, so she goes to the driveway and waits for Mom. As Phineas begins sniffing the pizza, Perry walks up to him.

PHINEAS

Oh, there you are, Perry, I bet you wouldnt want to miss out on the pizza, huh? Here, why dont you try it and see if its as good as last night?

Suddenly, as Phineas breaks off a bit of the pizza, the pizza bursts into flames, reducing it to cinders that blow away in the wind.

PHINEAS

Hmm, I may have overestimated how long it would take, more like 42 seconds than 3 minutes, oh well, Ferb, you can put away the amazing compact magnifying glass.

Ferb presses a button on the magnifying glass that shrinks it down to normal size.

PHINEAS(CONTD)

Well, at least weve got this bit, we can share this piece.

As Phineas and Ferb share the pizza with Perry, Candace opens the gate, bringing Mom with her.

CANDACE

See, its a giant pizza.

Mom goes over to look at the pizza piece.

MOM

So, is it supposed to be giant for an ant?

CANDACE

What? No, how did they get rid of it, theres no possible way, no.

MOM

Cheer up, Candace, have some pizza.

Candace eats a bit of the piece and her face lights up.

CANDACE

Wow, this is as good as last night.

PHINEAS

We know, shame we couldnt have more, what a day we had though, huh Ferb?

Ferb, with his mouth full, gives a thumbs up.

Fadeout.

INT. DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC. – DAY

Credits scene, as Doofenshmirtz is still being held in the cage by the dogs.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Oh, Im getting hungry, cant you just leave me alone?

Doofenshmirtz then notices the burger that he threw in earlier, picks it up and takes a bite, only to spit it out in disgust.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ

Wow, I cant believe I was going to sell that to people, thats not just evil, thats sick.

Logos and fadeout. The End.