Phineas and Ferb Porno Story: A Fresh Villain – Chapter 1

A New Villain

Disclaimer: I do not
own the characters in this. They belong to Disney.

This was a crazy day
for me. In this messed up world, evil wreaks havoc in all shapes and
sizes. Then there are good days when one can just slack off and
enjoy himself. Alas, this was not one of those days, but the problem
was far more serious than usual.

I live on Earth, a
planet where people live out normal lives and communicate with one
another, socializing and mating and helping with the natural balance
of things. It is always beautiful to see a man and a woman come
together. It is a world of peace, a world of conflict, a world where
anything can happen.

Me? I am neither man
nor woman, for I am not a human. Who am I? More like what am I?

I am a pet, a platypus
to be precise. I am an odd creature. I had big rounded eyes, a duck
bill and a beaver tail. I am a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal. Most
other mammals cant lay eggs. Of course, being a male, I cant
really do it either. That makes it funny that I can sweat milk while
most males of my species cant.

I also have flat feet
and, for some reason, blue-colored fur. Australias got weird
creatures, but Im the only one that has ever been blue. Makes me
feel unnatural, almost.

I live out my life
among the humans as their pet. My masters are always doing things
they shouldnt while their sister tries to bust them and get them
in trouble for it. They dont necessarily try to hide it, but
things always work ironically to prevent the Mrs. from seeing it.

What roll do I play in
this? One bigger than you can ever imagine, but it is a secret. To
my owners, I am simply a sniveling, brainless pet who does nothing
more than lie around all day, occasionally wandering off, and eating
worms.

As for what I truly am
thats classified.

Perry T. Platypus

Oh, hi, didnt notice
there were people reading this. Well, that was just a documentary by
one of the main stars of this story. Now that thats over, I will
be taking over the narrations.

This is a story that
may alter the very lives of the people in this world, but the one who
will be most effected shall be the author of that above statement.

The first paragraph
probably has you wondering what is going to happen in this story?
Well, sit back and take out a bowl of popcorn and listen good, for
you do not wanna miss a minute from this. Junior, hands off that
mouse. Keep it far away from that back button. Ah! Yeah, thought I
wouldnt notice that, did you? Anyway, allow me to begin.

It all started on a
bright Summers Day. Summer was the time everyone loved, a time
when students didnt have to go to school and all was just
relaxation for those who truly needed a break from the cruelty of
society.

But the most difficult
thing anyone could do was find some way to spend it, and there were
two who knew just how to end such boredom.

One was a young lad
named Phineas. With his brilliant mind, he could pull off even the
hardest of tasks. Now he looked like a normal boy with his short
orange hair, his playful eyes, a striped T-shirt, a pair of blue
shorts and a typical body that most ten-year-olds had. He was
willing to do anything as long as it was fun, and he would not waste
a second.

His stepbrother and
best friend was more of a kid of action and had very few words to
say. His name was Ferb. He had short green hair, a top that said
smart guy but one has to ignore the somewhat dopey look his
eyes had.

So, Phineas
asked, what are we going to do today?

Ferb pulled out
blueprints as Phineas looked over the directions and said, Well,
we could either build a rocket, make a super robot, or invent a new
type of cheese.

They looked over at a
cow in their garage as Phineas said, Sorry, Bessie, you might have
to wait a little longer.

While they discussed
their plans, their sister, a girl with long reddish hair, a beautiful
face, a pink top and a skirt walked over to them. Her name was
Candace and she absolutely despised Phineas and Ferb for many
reasons.

Listen here, you
twerps, she snapped, Stacy is coming over to help me pick out
what to wear for my first date ever with Jeremy and if you so much as
do anything to mess it up, I will ring your necks!

Kay, was all
Phineas said as Candace walked off.

Then Phineas looked
over the plans some more and said, Alright, lets build a
rocket. It is childs play, but these others just dont seem as
fun to me.

But Phineas had failed
to notice a young girl with long black hair and a pink dress looking
around the corner watching him.

She happily walked over
to him and asked, Hey, Phineas, What cha doin?

Oh, hey Isabella,
Phineas replied, Were building a rocket. Wanna help?

Isabella sighed as he
said that. She had so wanted him to ask for her help, and she was
happy to assist. Isabella had a crush on Phineas, thought whether or
not Phineas was aware of it was a whole other thing. Isabella did
all she could to make it not-too-obvious, and amazingly, she was
actually very good at hiding it.

Hey, wait a minute,
Phineas said, Wheres Perry?

Who was Perry? Well,
he wrote that documentary. Yes, Perry was a blue platypus. While he
simply posed as a mindless pet to the humans, he had a secret, and
were gonna find out what that is.

Perry crept about,
being sure not to be seen and was about to put his hand up against a
spot of grass when a woman walked outside and gave him no choice but
to put on his pet-like composure. This lovely young woman with red
hair, a nice build and a yellow T-shirt was Phineas mother, Linda.

Im going out to
get your dad some medicine for his back, alright? she called out,
Be good while Im away!

Oh, hi Perry, she
said briefly before entering the car and driving off to the pharmacy.

The father of the
household was Ferbs father, Lawrence. He was a simple everyday
business man with neat brown hair, a smart look in his eyes and a
white business top. Currently, he had an ache in his back and
couldnt move.

Well, this isnt
so bad, he said with a nervous smile just as a quarter rolled out
of his pants pocket. He reached down to get it as his back gave way
and he screamed in agony.

What about Perry?
Well, with Linda out of the picture, he pressed a spot on the grass
as a patch next to it rose up in the form of an elevator. Making
sure no one could see him, he quickly went into it as it brought him
down into an amazing place.

It was a laboratory, a
well-designed laboratory full of all kinds of gizmos and gadgets and
computer thingies.

He put on a secret
agent hat and turned on a screen as the face of a sergeant with a
white mustache and a manly face appeared. This was Perrys boss,
Major Monogram.

Ah, Agent P, youre
here, Monogram said, Weve got word that Dr. Heinz
Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again. Hes created yet
another death ray and plans to vaporize the tri-state areas cow
supply with it. Could you imagine a life without milk? Wed all
become weak, pathetic morsels with no choice but to let mad
Scientists like him rule over us.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was
Perrys arch-rival, a mad Scientist bent on world domination. He
wore a typical lab coat and had a maniacal face. His eyes had bags
under them all the time, giving off the impression that he didnt
sleep all that often, but strangely enough, that was his natural
appearance.

Perry gave the army
major a salute and exited his lab via hovercraft. He was determined
to stop this threat at all costs. It was his job and his reason for
existing.

Monogram felt a pain in
the back of his head as he turned to his camera man, Karl the Intern,
and said, Now is not the time for a close-up.

Meanwhile, Candace was
getting ready for her date with the boy of her dreams when she
noticed something out the window. Phineas and Ferb had a large metal
structure in the back yard and she was going to put a stop to this,
whatever it was they were doing.

DAD! she shouted
running to her father who had finally gotten comfortable again and
asked, What is it, honey?

Come quick! she
barked, Phineas and Ferb are building a rocket in the back yard!

Thats nice,
dear, Lawrence replied, but Im in no condition to see it.
Besides, weve heard all these claims before. I highly doubt this
is worth getting up for.

Candace growled as she
stormed up to her room and said to herself, Thats it. Ive
decided that I dont care anymore. I am sick of always looking
crazy whenever I try to bust those two. I dont know how they do
it, but they always get away with it and never get caught. Whats
the use? Im never going to catch them.

She also had her date
to think about, so maybe it was just worth it to finally back off for
a change. She had always obsessed over getting those two in trouble
when they really meant no harm.

Now, youre probably
wondering about the title. So far, this story has had very little to
do with it. Well, just be patient for the next chapter will reveal
the whole point behind this title.