Phineas and Ferb Porn Story: The Time Machine – Chapter 1

The Time Machine

It was a Sunday in
Danville and Phineas and Ferb were watching a video with their sister
Candace. Candace had a school assignment to write an essay on the
creation of the universe, and so she had rented a documentary. Most
of it had finished but then, the narrator, turned to the audience
with a deep meaningful look upon her countenance and said “But
scientists are still baffled by the question of how the universe came
into existence. We still are unsure what caused the big bang, and how
our universe was created” “Well that was useful” said
an exasperated Candace, switching the VCR off with the remote and
eating a chip from the bowl the three had been sharing during the
documentary. “I mean my essay has to be about the creation of
the universe, but how am I supposed to write about something nobody
understands or knows about?” Just then Phineas had an idea.
“Ferb, I know what we’re going to do tommorow!”

Phineas and Ferb slept
soundly that night, assured now of a days fun ahead. Phineas had got
the idea to use a time machine to travel back to the big bang and
find out what caused it. Having already designed blueprints for a
time machine, they had merely to assemble it. Perry also slept
quietly, and the next day, Monday, came very peacefully to Danville.
Having eaten breakfast Phineas and Ferb went outside and began
constructing their time machine. Isabella came into their yard with
Buford and Baljeet and said “Whatcha doin’?” to which
Phineas replied “Building a time machine” “Can i
help?” asked Isabella. “Sure, just hand me that internal
compression regulator” “That what?” “The long
rectangular metal object in Buford’s hand” Buford looked
embarassed. “Sorry, i thought it was a toy laser sword…”

The time machine was
completed by eight o’clock and they all entered. Candace, having
spied on the construction the whole morning, had secretly stowed
herself aboard and hid herself, armed with a video camera, in a
cardboard box filled part way with styrofoam protective packing- used
to hold a few repair tools. As Phineas started it up by turning the
ignition key in the control panel he looked around and said “Where’s
Perry?”

Perry meanwhile had
received information from Major Monogram that Doofenshmirtz had gone
with several hundred other villains to a National Villains Convention
at the Danville Convention Centre, which was sponsored heavily by
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. His mission was to spy on the
villains and take down notes of what they said during the meeting.

Meanwhile inside the
time machine Phineas looked about the control room at his crew. Ferb
was as usual second in command, Isabella was next, and Buford and
Baljeet followed. All was ready, and after a quick briefing Phineas
said “And now ladies and gentlemen, we shall travel backwards in
time to the creation of the universe. To discover what, if anything,
existed before it, and what caused the big bang. Please hold on to
your seats and fasten your seat belts, this may be a bumpy ride due
to some turbulence being experienced in the 1960s”. His mother
and father were at work, and so had no idea of what Phineas, Ferb and
their friends were doing, and so nobody but Candace was aware of what
they were about to attempt. Of course she knew this would be the bust
to end all busts. Camera rolling she smiled and many happy thoughts
of her parents faces at the news of what her brothers had done filled
her mind as the time machine began to wobble as it entered the time
vortex. Phineas pressed the digit 0 on the keypad and then ENTER, and
the machine began to travel quickly through time. As it did the
landscape visible through the windows, which were kept large and
which allowed a 180 degree view due to the bubble like nature of the
control rooms design, changed. Houses began to be replaced by meadows
and paddocks, and these in turn began to rapidly turn into forest and
plains. Wild beasts lived their entire lives within seconds, and
whole mountain ranges sprung up and fell before their eyes. Soon the
atmosphere changed color, and space began to appear different. The
whole universe was now in the year 55 million BC, and soon the
dinosaurs would appear in all their glory and strength, roaming the
land searching for trees or animals to eat. The Cretaceous period
passed in minutes, and soon followed the Jurassic and Triassic
periods. By now grasses had dissapeared altogether, replaced
with primitive cycads. The Carboniferous period was soon passed like
a level crossing by a train, in but seconds. And as the machine went
further and further back in time it sped up until whole millions of
years went by in half a second or thereabouts. At last, the very
universe itself began to appear different. The Earth’s atmosphere
changed to a bright red, and the surface became actively volcanic.
Lava flowed in torrents, and soon even this was replaced by a
swirling of dust, growing ever thinner, until even this became just
part of the dusty disc that was a proto star of the Sun. Soon even
this collapsed and every star began to draw inward to a distant point
and then, within a trillionth of a second and obviously quite
unobservable to the eyes of Phineas and his friends, everything
turned black. Phineas checked the clock. It read ‘0’, indicating it
was the exact moment the universe began to exist. “Hmm… We
seem to have encountered a problem” said Phineas. Isabella
looked worried and asked what it was. Buford tried to act tough, but
considering his situation even he seemed nervous. Baljeet, of course,
was most nervous of all, and quivered and shook alarmingly. “You
see… the Universe was created from an explosion, the BIg Bang, and
this happened, as all explosions do, by starting from a point and
expanding… Well… our ship, whilst it went backward in time,
stayed still in space… and therefore… We are thousands of
millions of light years from the centre of the universe, hence where
the Big Bang happened” “So…” said Isabella, “does
this mean we shan’t find out what caused it, Phineas?” “Well…
If we activate our matter scanner, we can lock onto the space
coordinates of any particular matter in the Universe and travel to it
by using a loophole in the law of the speed of light. Usually, as you
would probably be aware, it is impossible to travel faster than the
speed of light. However, because this ship can travel through time…
We have marely to travel through timespace, that is we jump forwards
in time at the same time as going towards an object, and we can go
faster than the speed we would go if we went towards it in real time.
So I merely have to press the matter scanner button like so-”
All of a sudden the machine shook quickly, vibrating and sending
Phineas and his friends to the floor. But when they stood up they
found what they had been looking for. Freezing the machine in time
they saw a giant ball of light- the Big Bang. Technically the Big
Bang happened so quickly it would be impossible to see it, but by
locking onto the correct time coordinates and freezing the machines
position in time they could observe it frame by frame, millisecond by
millisecond.

The bang appeared like
a steadily growing contained burst of light- like a bubble of boiling
energy- sending vast amounts of radiation and heat into the universe-
which of course existed beyond this explosion as nothing more than
possibility- with the exception of the time machine which had made
sure it would not be destroyed if it existed in the position it was
in. After the bang had become too bright to view without sunglasses
Phineas told them “We have now witnessed the greatest and most
important event in history- and now, let us go back to our time- I
think mom’s cooking lasagna tonight” “I hope she adds lots
of cheese” added Ferb, and the time machine was brought back
safely to the present day. Of course the question they had set out to
answer had not been answered, and they still didn’t know what had
created the universe.

When they got back
Phineas went to find Candace to say he was sorry they hadn’t found
out what had created the universe, and Candace, with her video camera
full of proof of the activity of her brothers, went directly to her
mother when she got home from work.

“Mom, look what I
caught on camera! Phineas and Ferb built a time machine and went back
to the big bang, and-” “Not now dear, I’ve had a busy day
at work… I’ve got a headache… I don’t think staring at a bright
LCD screen would help… Tommorow dear…” “But Mom…”
“That’s enough Candace. Go play with your brothers, I need some
rest” Candace’s father then added “Your mother needs her
rest, Candace dear. I’ll get dinner”

Meanwhile Perry had got
to the convention centre, but found, instead of the villains he was
expecting, Major Monogram and some fellow agents. “Ah, Agent P.
We thought we’d surprise you. It’s your birthday, so we thought we’d
hold a party here. Nice to see you’re still in tip top condition.
Happy birthday Agent P!” Perry accepted some cake. After the
party (Monogram had got a disco Dj and had enjoyed some dancing, as
had the other agents, although Perry was a little worried his absence
would soon be noted) Perry went back home and met Candace who was
still holding her camera. “Oh hello Perry. I am so going to bust
Phineas and Ferb. Wait till they see this footage of them going back
in time!” Perry made his noise. “I’m just waiting till
tommorow since mom has a headache. But tommorow I’ll totally bust
them” Perry repeated his noise and drank some water from a dish.

Phineas and Ferb’s
father cooked the lasagna and they ate it. Candace during dinner gave
some angry looks at her brothers which they didn’t return, thinking
she wasn’t enjoying the food, which had an oddly high level of chilli
and garlic for lasagna. Perry sat on a chair and stood fairly still.
Phineas and Ferb’s mother was having a rest. All was quiet. And then
Candace looked suddenly worried. “Oh no…” ‘What’s the
matter dear?” asked her father. “Oh no… I don’t think I
remembered to press the record button! None of the footage I took
could have been saved!” Her head fell into her lasagna. Then it
came up again with a broad smile. “But of course! I did press
it! Dad… I want to show you a video I shot…”

Now at this point it
may seem odd that Candace is telling her father about Phineas and
Ferb rather than her usual pick of her mother- and certainly it would
be so if it wasn’t for the fact (a fact Candace had taken into
consideration) that if her father got mad at Phineas and Ferb he’d
have to explain why to their mother- after all who would believe such
a story without proof? So she could still get that glorious moment
when her mother, putting down the video camera with a stern face,
realises what Phineas and Ferb have been doing all these years.

Candace ran to where
she’d left her camera. Quickly she returned and gave it to her
father. He held the camera whilst Phineas and Ferb continued eating
in silence, apparently unconcerned that their secret would be
revealed at long last. Candace’s expectant and delighted smile showed
how glorious this moment was to her. “But Candace… this is
incredible! I would have never thought…” “I know dad! And
tommorow we can show mom!” “We certainly will dear. This is
the best home movie I’ve ever seen! How did you shoot the time travel
sequence so realistically? Those graphics of the changing landscape
must have taken you ages to make dear… I’m assuming you made this
film since you’re the only one not in it?” “No dad! It’s
real! That all really happened! Phineas and Ferb did make a time
machine! They did I tell you!” “Yes yes… in the movie”
“No for real!” “Dear me dear… You need to have a
rest Candace. All that hard work making those graphics must have
exhausted you!” Candace went to bed, tired with her failure. And
then it struck her! The time machine! Of course! She quickly ran down
to the garage- but it had been moved. “Where have they put it?”
she thought, then, racing into the back yard, she saw it in plain
sight lying on the lawn. “Dad! Come see! The time machine is
still on the lawn!”

Candace’s father came
outside and looked at the machine. “That’s a well made prop!”
“It’s not a prop, look, come inside!” “You can go
inside it?” “Of course dad! It’s a real time machine!”
But here Candace’s luck ran dry, for Phineas and Ferb had locked it
and Candace didn’t know the access code. “Oh this is so unfair”
said Candace.

That night Candace rang
Stacy and talked about their school essay. When they got to the point
about the essay Stacy asked whether Candace would finish it by the
next day when it was due. “I hope you manage to write it by
then” “Don’t worry Stacy. I’ll manage… I may have not
even started… But when you see the largest explosion in the history
of the universe you don’t easily forget it!”

It may occur to the
reader that one individual, namely Doofenshmirtz, has not apparently
been doing anything this fine summers day. Well in fact Monogram was
unaware of the exact date of Perry’s birthday. When he noticed little
activity from Doofenshmirtz he decided to hold a party for Perry, one
he had pre planned. And so, indeed, Doofenshmirtz had not been up to
anything evil. What had he been doing? Well let’s just say even
villains need to go shopping sometimes.